Literature

Tale: The Old Man

Tale: The Old Man

(The Old Man)

I moved to new house. I love the place. It’s besides the lake, a cool walkway between. On the first morning- I saw the Old man.

I couldn’t sleep well first night but I leave the bed exactly at 6:00 AM. I saw the Old man as soon as I put brush on my teeth- it was 6:07 AM.

He catches my eyes with his tortuous steps on the walkway. To pass the tiny space he takes 3 minutes and 48 seconds. I got the timing next day- his move was too slow that I had to count the timing.

It took few days to adjust my mind to stay calm and see his every steps. And soon I like it.

It become a routin. I see the Old man on the walkway- I put my brush on my teeth. He went outside of my eyesight I stop brushing- in between I see him moving like snail.

Soon he noticed me, too. He stops after 15 steps- raise a hand to me and give a smile. Take another 15 steps and go outside of my sight.

On avarage it is 7.6 seconds for taking one single step.

© Moonomo, 2011Image

15 Comments

  1. I am amazed by the way you can make so a vivid description of a very common event in life!

    You managed to show that seemingly obsession of the author with the sluggish displacement of the man. This is not a minor matter, it is a way to separate your person (the writer) from the storyteller (the author)! It is a very difficult and coveted skill by many people who want to write tales! Generally readers do not realize how this simple (and difficult to achieve) matter is important since they just let themselves to be carried away by the story, but there is a world of difference in the feelings left by a tale with or without this fact!

    There are many other things in this deep narration, as the action years have on people, and the (il)logical way these years affect human beings… and many more. Beautiful done!

    Congrats man!

    O.

    1. Omo

      I feel great to know I did able to do it!

      It must be those great authors whom I read many years ago thousands times made my ears to complain whenever I try to put words to try any tale- I wish I could keep it this way and able to vanish mistakes due to not putting proper time-

      I must say, your writing bring me to try! I was many miles away from writing tale or poems!

      Tony, Thank you! You giving comfort- :)

      1. Do not count miles or distances, just make your try!

        Nobody is born with the knowledge, it is a difficult field this of telling stories, and there are few comforts while walking the trail!

        You have what is needed, don’t stop, do not doubt your talent, do not try to be Edgar Allan Poe, we already have one! Be yourself!! that you can do!!

        Keep it up, buddy!

      2. Omo

        Sure thing, my friend!! Thanks a zillion, truly appreciate-

  2. This is nice and interesting! It seems to be a lesson for future! :P You were very observant and knew exactly the time for each step.

    1. Omo

      Thank you BB- the storyteller might be a person who follow the clock hardly- :):):)

      The Old man has lots of spirit to deny his age and move forward with each step he makes- a very strong person!

  3. I’m truly glad to read this. Your minute detailing about things shows how deep observer you are and how good you are at elaborating them. I’m always impressed by things which are expressed in fewer words..like haiku, mini tales which inspires me and seeing you doing the same, mesmerizes me a lot.

    Congrats for venturing into another form of writing !
    You’re indeed an all rounder :)

    1. Omo

      Appreciate much, Kitty! Thank you for the kind words-

      I just try my best- there’s more to explore and gesture! :)

  4. Very interesting friends . . he is strong man. .

  5. This is actually a cool post. Did you take this picture? If so that makes it even more interesting. You should do an interview with him and post it up – I’ll bet his life is interesting.

    1. Omo

      Hey Christian- thank you for stopping by- :)

      Too bad I do not know the Old man on this photo- it was taken by someone else (you can find the link to the image bellow the story)-

      I bet I would get more idea for tales if I could meet Old person like him- :)

  6. One day you will miss him and he will never pass your way again. DOn’t be sad because this is our destiny.

    1. Omo

      That’s the truth- Ana!

  7. I remember this post.
    I watched what you did after and I loved. You know what art is and your poems are very good.
    Thanks for sharing.

  8. Omo

    Ana, your kind words uplift my spirit!!

    I love to think art is my blood to live how I want to live-

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